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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/23236642">We're making it up as we go: a Winchester Gospel</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Charlie_Ross_Winchester/pseuds/Charlie_Ross_Winchester'>Charlie_Ross_Winchester</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Supernatural</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Between Episodes, Canon Compliant, Canon-Typical Violence, Chuck Shurley is God, Destiel Is Real, Episode: s04e10 Heaven and Hell, Episode: s04e18 The Monster at the End of This Book, Episode: s04e22 Lucifer Rising, Episode: s05e01 Sympathy for the Devil, Episode: s05e22 Swan Song, Episode: s13e05 Advanced Thanatology, Episode: s13e06 Tombstone, Episode: s14e18 Absence, Episode: s15e02 Raising Hell, Free Will Win, M/M, POV Chuck Shurley, Post-Episode: s12e23 All Along the Watchtower, Post-Episode: s14e20 Moriah, Yep there are a lot of references to the episodes</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-03-20</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-03-20</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-18 02:48:42</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>2,424</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/23236642</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Charlie_Ross_Winchester/pseuds/Charlie_Ross_Winchester</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>The story of Dean Winchester and Castiel told from his writer, God<br/>.<br/>.<br/>.<br/>Often, He asks himself: what would happen if He sent another angel to save Dean Winchester’s soul from the pit?</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Castiel/Dean Winchester</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>42</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>We're making it up as we go: a Winchester Gospel</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Hello everyone.<br/>This is something I wrote a couple of months ago after 15x02 and that amazing line for what I’m still screaming about.<br/>I wrote it in Italian and published it in another websites and then I decided, hell, I should translate it so here I am.<br/>So forgive me if there are mistakes, English it’s not my mother tongue.<br/>There are a lot of references from other episodes, I hope they are recognizable if not, ask me whatever you need to ask. </p><p>Enjoy &lt;3</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <strong>WE’RE MAKING THIS UP AS WE GO</strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>(A WINCHESTER GOSPEL)</strong>
</p><p>
  <span class="u">
    <strong>.</strong>
  </span>
</p><p>
  <span class="u">
    <strong>.</strong>
  </span>
</p><p>
  <span class="u">
    <strong>.</strong>
  </span>
</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>The first time Dean Winchester tore the script and completely did things of his own way, Chuck was angry. Furious.</p><p>You don't spend the last decades of your immortal life writing and programming every line, every plot twist just for seeing your own story completely turned upside down by one of your characters, one that at the beginning wasn’t even so important.</p><p> </p><p>Dean... Dean was supposed to be just the son of the man who was supposed to bring the Apocalypse, one of those characters that everyone would love even if he died too soon in the story for anyone to really miss him.</p><p> </p><p>But no, Chuck hadn't taken one thing into account. A small and insignificant thing that in the end was able to change everything and completely rewrite his story: Sam.</p><p> </p><p>It's not his fault, really. It's just that He created souls for humans, never for him and if there is one thing he learned at his expense, over time it is that often the feelings, those that make souls a little brighter, beautiful, they are always unpredictable.</p><p>Often one of the biggest mistakes a writer can do is to write his characters so well that they eventually take over and start writing for themselves.</p><p> </p><p>Oh but Chuck can adapt. He was angry but there is nothing better than a little brotherly love, always leads viewers to remain glued to the pages and identify with the stories. So Dean ended up in hell for Sam and yes someone might think it was a cruel thing to do but who doesn't like a tormented hero?</p><p> </p><p>He was quite proud of how things were coming together and seeing Sam keep trying to bring his brother back to life despite knowing that it was an impossible mission and getting closer and closer to that demon, Ruby, he could not help but think to Dean in hell. To the pain they were inflicting him (or he was, semantics) and Dean was inflicting and how symmetrically perfect it would have been, given the two paths that both brothers were doing, adding something to the story.</p><p>At that point comes Castiel, one of the most beautiful character Chuck have ever written if he have to be honest with himself and He is many things but he is certainly not a fool, he would not made with him the same mistakes made with Dean. If it is the soul that makes a character unpredictable then the only thing to do is not to give him one.</p><p> </p><p>Of course, looking at things in hindsight, giving a soul to Castiel wouldn't have really made a big difference considering the fact that at the beginning it wasn't exactly Castiel’s fault.</p><p> </p><p>Once again Chuck found himself watching Dean's soul doing things, feeling things, which he could never have considered, never written even if he wanted to.</p><p> </p><p>He wasn't angry that time, even though he should have. Again his characters wrote themselves, took the roads, made choices that he had not even thought of writing in a draft.</p><p>But he could only be fascinated by the way in which Dean's soul called Castiel in the darkest depths of hell, as he tried to cling desperately to his grace to be brought to safety even though aware within himself that this was his place, next to the wheel on which the soul he was torturing was tied, aware that he did not deserve to be saved.</p><p> </p><p>Chuck found himself looking at Castiel, one of his angels, one of those characters put there only to serve the plot for a few scenes, to grab the soul of what was once a man and open his eyes (Well at least figuratively speaking, not that he really had eyes at that moment or a hand with which to grab Dean's shoulder but it had become so poetic that he just couldn't help but put that little detail in the story. Who doesn't love a romantic subplot).</p><p> </p><p>He certainly could not have known that this moment would definitively change the course of history.</p><p> </p><p>And then Cas... Cas? A blasphemy, Dean Winchester took the name of an angel of the Lord and made it become a real thing, a person, part of that strange and unknown concept that he calls Family. No longer a mere useful object to insert a little pepper to the plot, ready to go out as soon as he accomplished his purpose.</p><p> </p><p>And he tried to get him out of the scene more than once. One of the reasons he brought Alastair out of hell (if not to force Dean to confess to Sam what had happened - all that repression was getting boring -) was just to kill Castiel.</p><p>After all, the only reason he put an angel on Dean's shoulder was to create this parallel between his life and that of his brother, poetic although not as original as he believed when he wrote it for the first time. He shouldn't have been so difficult to replace Castiel with someone else. Someone less problematic. Someone like Anna.</p><p> </p><p>But Dean... Dean saved him * and this Chuck didn’t really consider. After all, Cas was all Dean had always hated. One of those supernatural things that had ripped his mother away from his life and that his father taught him to hate since he was old enough to understand what the concept meant.</p><p> </p><p>He would have laughed at Castiel's face if only he hadn't been busy trying to figure out what was happening to his characters.</p><p> </p><p>It was at that point that he decided to put himself in the story, perhaps he would have been able to do what had become impossible keeping himself at distance.</p><p>If he had put them on the right path by accompanying them to make the choices he wanted, perhaps the story could still be saved, it could go as it really had to go.</p><p> </p><p>Imagine his shock when despite having provided Dean with a real script in his hands this time, he found himself with his back against the wall, literally, in the house of the character he had created for himself, threatened by one of his protagonists to follow him because apparently he could help him save his brother.</p><p> </p><p>And he certainly could not have known that there is always an archangel on the shoulders of a prophet to ensure that history is written, goes on. It was not difficult to connect the dots and understand who had provided that information to Dean.</p><p>Castiel, always Castiel, who in the most absurd and less likely way was slowly starting to turn his back on his family, the one that Chuck himself had created for him, the angels, to follow the ideals of a rebellious character who does not believe in himself but believes in his brother, in his family, which he has chosen and built himself and more importantly, in free will.</p><p> </p><p>But in no way, no one, Chuck could have predicted what would happen in the end.</p><p> </p><p>Not only were his characters doing everything they could to go against what he had always predicted for them but they were doing it consciously, aware that they were wrecking the story written for them even if they never really knew by whom, not until today.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <em>"Saint Mary? What is that, a convent? "</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <em>"Yeah but ... You guys are not supposed to be there. You’re not in this story "</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <em>"Yes, well ...  We’re making it up as we go"</em>
</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>And really, the arrogance. Not only did Castiel completely turn his back on everything he had known practically since the beginning of time, what he had been created for but now he was at "his" home, Chuck home, ready to die in the name of the Righteous Man.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>“I’ll hold him off! I'll hold them all off! Just stop Sam!”</em>
</p><p> </p><p>But he can only smile seeing Dean's head spring upwards, staring at Castiel with eyes full of amazement and gratitude. And he was not the only one amazed at that moment, despite everything Chuck was proud of how the story was going, of how the characters were moving forward even if in Dean and Castiel very little was left of him.</p><p> </p><p>That's probably the moment when Chuck realized he couldn't do much about it. Of course he had started to write them in a slightly romantic way but it was only a subplot, really, you had to read between the lines to understand but seeing Dean staring at Castiel with that look... well, he couldn't do much then. Not that his readers didn't already appreciate it and then they did it all by themselves.</p><p> </p><p>It was only in his full interest not to let Cas die or at least kill him and then keep bringing him back to life. Don't judge him, who doesn't like a bit of drama and then it's not his fault if Dean reacts that way every time Castiel dies. It is always a fantastic opportunity for a bit of introspection, for some tears, self-hatred and guilt that Chuck swears it, he never intended to write. Dean always seems to blame himself for everything, every time something happens to Castiel he does nothing but hate himself a little more.</p><p> </p><p>At one point it became a bit of a challenge to inflict so much pain to see how far Dean could go, if he would break. But no matter how hard Dean bends, he never got to that point, especially because he continues to lean on Cas every time and always come back a little straighter.</p><p> </p><p>And they continued to save each other, to cover their backs in front of every obstacle Chuck put on their path to separate them and at some point it stopped being fun.</p><p> </p><p>After Lucifer killed Castiel again (or better, Chuck had Lucifer kill Castiel again) he decided to call it quits. Too many times he had brought him back to life and honestly the story was completely getting out of hand.</p><p> </p><p>More than a story, it had become a continuous test for his characters to understand how far they would go and despite the fact that this was Chuck purpose, at least for a couple of years now, despite having put Dean in front of tragedies, obstacles, more great in the past, what does Dean do?** He surrendered to a death that this time was not even Chuck to put on his path?</p><p> </p><p>Imagine his amazement when Dean Winchester decides to stop fighting a few weeks after being on his knees next to Castiel's corpse, next to his burnt wings, grateful at least that his eyes were closed because seeing the two black orbits instead of that look that had become a constant in his life for too long, would have broken him even before when it happened shortly after.</p><p> </p><p>No matter how many times he prayed to Chuck, how many punches on the wall and bloody knuckles or curses he threw at him. Castiel had to stay dead, the story was coming to an end nonetheless, after the birth of that Nephilim.</p><p> </p><p>He was too busy following the Winchesters everywhere to realize what Lucifer was up to. Contrary to popular belief, Chuck is not exactly omniscient and the last time the Nephilims were in this universe he swept the Earth away with no remorse, this time it won't be better. They are too unpredictable, powerful and not as manageable as humans.</p><p> </p><p>Of course he will do it with more style, more drama. Maybe he'll have him killed by Dean, who knows but he hasn't yet come to write that part of the story.</p><p> </p><p>Now... now he's forced to watch Jack suffer Dean's words and feel guilty about something he hasn't really done and which luckily, even if he doesn't know yet, he can fix so to not see Dean watch him with all that much hatred in the eyes. Not that Dean looks Jack in the eye much anyway since they returned to the bunker and Castiel is not with him.</p><p> </p><p>But soon Castiel is back in Dean's arms on the edge of a dark road. Iconic how there is a cross next to them, as if unconsciously they do nothing but make fun of him and how much by now he has no control over what they do.</p><p> </p><p>And at that moment he realized that perhaps he had to change strategy.</p><p> </p><p>Probably if he put them against each other causing irreversible and irreparable things between them, there would not have been so much desire to fight, hope in them that they could forget the wrongs that they did to each other.</p><p> </p><p>And so Mary died.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>“But I swear, if he did something to her. If she is ... then you’re dead to me "</em>
</p><p> </p><p>And there is great satisfaction in finally seeing the story go where Chuck wanted it to go, the characters do exactly what he had in mind even if… how long did it last? Few days?</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>“But we were a family, and I didn't want to lose that, so I thought I could fix it on my own”</em>
</p><p> </p><p>Perfect, the pain, Castiel's trembling voice and Dean's devastated gaze looking in Cas’ shining eyes. Even better than he could have imagined it.</p><p> </p><p>But again ... Again.</p><p> </p><p>Dean decides not to kill Jack and Sam? Sam shoot Him?</p><p> </p><p>It is no longer even meta-writing, it has become a complete joke. It wouldn't be surprised if Amara got something to do with it, maybe it's her revenge for having locked her up a long time ago.</p><p> </p><p>Even if he had to expect it, this story was going to hell for too long now (well ironically it's exactly where it will end).</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <em>“Dean, you asked what about all of this is real. We are "</em>
</p><p> </p><p>And he can't help to agree with Castiel, not that it doesn't bother him.</p><p>Looking at them now, with the world that once again, for one last time, is ending around them, Chuck can not but recognize that he lost on this.</p><p> </p><p>He would like to not accept the defeat, tear the pages and rewrite everything from the beginning.</p><p> </p><p>He often wonders what would have happened if he had sent a different angel to save Dean's soul from hell.</p><p>Would the same thing happen?</p><p> </p><p>Or maybe the problem is not hell, maybe no matter how far away Castiel is sent from Dean Winchester, they will always find each other in the end and this is damn frustrating.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>My tumblr: https://an-angel-in-love-with-a-hunter.tumblr.com/</p><p>I'm writing a long, OfficeAu, you can find it in my profile. There is only one chapter in english but I have to write the last two chapters in Italian and then it's over and I'm translating it!</p></blockquote></div></div>
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